Jish Josh's Dilemma
by Poodlocity
Summary: Neku finds himself caught up in the affairs of Joshua yet again when he receives an unexpected phone call... Rated T for blood and language. (Not yaoi.)
1. Chapter 1, Blissfully Oblivious

It had been two months since The Game.

Neku was... Getting better at being sociable, Shiki and Eri became the dynamic duo once more, and the Bito siblings had learned to play nice with Mommy and Daddy.

And good ol' Josh? Well...

Neku never saw Joshua since their final showdown. Sure, he was a pain, but, that didn't mean he didn't miss the royal prick. He was his friend after all, right? At least, for Neku he was a friend. Who the hell knows what really goes through Joshy's fluffy head?

...

Well, there is one person...

* * *

Mr. H was cleaning his coffee cups behind the counter of the WildKat Cafe, suspiciously whistling a tune very similar to "Call Me Maybe" when it all happened.

What happened, you ask?

Well, during this time, a separate Neku from Our Neku in a separate place from Ours was being made fun of for being caught with his hair ungelled. In an alternate universe, Shiki was picking the sock fuzzies out from between her callused, corny toes while talking to Eri about Ms. Twister's "totally fabulous" outfit last night that the **Prince himself** F'd! (Squee!)

But right here, right now, Our Joshua walked through the café doors, vibe lowered, (so he looked like his usual, bratty self) and unusually quiet... The Barista didn't notice this however, being distracted with his cups.

"Sanae..." Spoke the ashen blonde, obviously in a great amount of pain.

"Hey J! Come by for a cuppa joe?"_ It's been awhile since the kid last came by here... Hope he's not planning somethin' fishy..._ Mr. H, lost in thought and in cup cleaning still neglected to look up to see his usually-frequent-but-not-frequent-as-of-late visitor/friend.

"..." _It... Hurts... I can't see very well..._ _Sanae, please... Look at me. I'm bleeding, I think. I hate blood. It's disgusting... I... I..._

The café was deathly quiet, and the only sound that could be heard was a limp body hitting the floor.

"J?" Mr. H looked up, and regretted it immediately. "Josh!"

Said boy was lying on the ground, not unconscious yet, but close to it. He tried to reach out with his bloodied, bruised hand, but failed. _I... can't... breathe... Help me... I can't stay awake much... longer..._

The sight was truly gruesome. The usual silky, silvery hair that covered the usually snarky boy's head, was matted and covered in blood and grime, his face devoid of any mischief or malicious intent. He was shaking, and looked pained. There were huge gashes in a number of places, and blood covered him. It soaked his clothes, stained his hands, dripped down his pale, slightly ill looking face... It was **everywhere**.

...And he _kinda_ smelled like sewage. But, that's not important.

_Oh my god..._ Mr. H numbly stared at his younger friend, shaken by his appearance. "Joshua... W- What happened to ya kiddo?" He smoothed the boy's hair back with his hand. He looked terrible...

Josh smirked with a bloody mouth and the darkness in his eyes served as warning not to press the matter any further. "Does... it matter?" He was struggling to speak. Mr. H didn't want to argue to get him to spill the beans, so he just let him have his way.

Joshua groaned sickly and grimaced, ignoring things like composure and his surroundings for a moment. _My head... I'm fading... I feel sick. Am I gonna be sick? I think I might... Or maybe_- Wet hacking noises erupted from Joshua's throat as he coughed up fresh blood to mix with the already drying crimson liquid around his mouth._ G-R-O-S-S. Ew. Oh my god. Now I'll really be sick. Ugh... Wait... Is Sanae saying something...? I can't hear you... I can't hear anything... I... My... Head..._

"Josh!" Joshua had gone under. Mr. H tried to shake him (practically throw him around like a rag doll) awake in vain. "Joshua! God damnit... I can't exactly go to the higher ups about this... Who can I call...?" _Wait... What if I called... Nah, Josh would hate me._ Mr. H looked at Josh's pathetic body that was now in his arms being carried to the back of the café. _Well, he's not really capable of hating **anyone** right now, huh?_ The café owner pulled out his cell phone...

* * *

Neku was with his friends at the Ramen Don. Beat was sticking straws up his nose, and getting scolded by Rhyme for it. Shiki was giggling, Eri was texting, and Mr. Doi was having a laugh behind the counter mumbling something about them that they couldn't hear.

Neku smiled to himself. Even though The Game was hell, he met some amazing people. (And his idol (!) CAT)

Speaking of CAT, Neku could barely contain his squeal of totally manly delight when his phone started ringing and said man's number popped up on it._ OH MY GOD. He's **CALLING** me. Oh jeez... Wait, do I answer? What do I do? What if..._ While Neku was worrying himself with all the things that could go wrong this phone call, he almost forgot to _answer_ it.

"Mr.H? H- Hello?" Neku's friends all quieted down and listened, Eri especially straining her self to hear the conversation on the phone.

"Neku." _Jeez... He sounds grumpy... Maybe he hasn't got any customers lately and he wants me to stop by!?_

"Yeah, what is it?" _Stay calm Neku... Don't freak out... Play it cool. You've got a life, you can't just show up cause he asked you to... Gotta make sure he knows you only go where you wanna go. Oh, but I wanna go so bad!_

"It's about J. Meet me at the café ASAP." The line went dead.

"Mr. H...? Mr. H!"

_Wait... What?_

* * *

**_Author's Note: Hey! So, this is my first fanfic ever... (Therefore criticism is completely welcome... and probably necessary.) Anyways, yeah... This isn't gonna be yaoi, or lemony... Or anything like that. Hope y'all liked it. Reviews would help me very much since I'm just starting out. (And no, the whole story isn't gonna be Josh-Josh out cold like my Grandpa on Saturday nights... He gets better) Okay, welp, goodnight readers! (Thanks for reading, btw, it means alot!) _**


	2. Chapter 2: The Revenge

"It's about J. Meet me at the cafe ASAP." The line went dead.

"Mr. H...? Mr. H!"

_Wait... What?_

* * *

_It's about... Josh?_ Neku didn't really know whether he should go or not. Because, while he had been thinking earlier how he kinda missed the prick, this sounded like a sticky situation. And well, like it was just pointed out, Joshua was a prick... And a big one, at that. But... When it came down to it, Mr. H had asked him to come and he would not- Nay, **could** not turn down a request from that man. So... He put money for his share of the food on the table, said something about it being late and swiftly left.

Mind you, it was 12:30 in the afternoon.

"Neku? Is everything ok?" Shiki, who was watching his face change from shock, to disappointment, to confusion, to panic, to determination called out to her friend._ I hope he's not going somewhere to see a girl... Is he going somewhere to see a girl? Oh... I have no chance with him now..._

"Everything's fine! I'll see you guys tomorrow!"_ Please don't follow me... I'm sorry guys._

...

"Hey guys?" Eri finally said a word besides "Hi," for the first time since entering the restaurant.

"Was' up?" Beat finally pulled the straws out of his nose. _I'm jus' so damn funny! I should do comedy! But, e'ryone was lookin' at Phones... Jeez, stupid phones, stealin' my sunder... Or was it thunder? Whatever..._

"Who's... J?"

Everyone looked confused for a moment, but when they slammed their faces into the metaphorical wall of realization, and everyone but Eri was on the same page... Like Neku, they all payed for their food and rushed out too quickly to be anything but suspicious.

"Um..." Eri just watched her friends leave, not really feeling like it was her place to follow. _Ooh! I'll text Mina and see if she wants to hit 104!_

* * *

Neku ran the whole way -well almost the whole way, the pansy had to stop to take a breather, the poor dear- to the café. Reaching his destination, he hesitated. _Should I really go through with this?_ Then, thinking about Mr. H's tone on the phone, he figured it might be serious... (He didn't wanna make Mr. H mad.) So, he ventured, very cautiously inside.

"Mr. H?" Said man was nowhere to be seen.

"Phones? That you?! I'm back here kiddo!" The voice was coming from -gulp- the back. He'd **never** been to the back before. Struggling to keep his inner delight, well, on the inside, he made his way to the back.

It was a small room, with a couch, coffee table, and two chairs. The walls were covered in art... Neku was about to drop everything and admire the man's work for hours when...

_Oh my GOD. Is that... Josh?!_

No, Neku, of course not. It's just someone that looks exactly like him. The story is over, you can all go home.

And yes, Neku, that was sarcasm. You need to do better.

Neku, unaware of this, looked on to the "Josh Clone" with horror. Mr. H was wiping blood from his face when Neku asked "What happened?!" He had gashes in a few places, a lot of blood and bruises, and just generally looked god _awful_. Ugh.

_Josh... What did you do?_

"Dont know, kiddo, tried to ask him, but he didn't wanna answer and you know how that is."

_Yeah... A pain in the ass is what it is. One of those annoying ones where you're sitting down and can't get up but your butt hurts so bad and you could just die._

"The boss passed out right in the middle of my floor right before I called ya'... Hasn't woken up since."

Then, upon getting over his initial shock and no longer feeling sympathy, Neku's eyes suddenly held a glint of mischief that was completely inappropriate for the situation. "Mr. H, Where's your bathroom?"

"Right through that door kiddo." Mr. H pointed to one of the three doors throughout the room. "Whatcha gonna do?"

"You'll see..." Nekky grabbed Joshy-kin's cute little blood covered, cut open wrist, and dragged him off the table, across the floor, and to the bathroom. Ever so adorably.

"Phones, be careful! Pick him up or something!"

"I guess I'm being a little rough, huh?" Not picking him up, Neku trekked on.

But since they both knew, one finding out just a few minutes ago, that Josh kinda smelled like sewage, and that it would be gross to carry him so closely, no one said another word as he was dragged across the floor.

Oh, and how Neku enjoyed dragging his stupid, back stabbing face across the carpet.

He opened the door, turned on the light, and with a slightly wet _thump_ from wet clothes, dropped Josh in the shower. _Revenge... You disgusting fluff ball! _

"Phones you're not gonna-" He was interrupted by the sound of running water. Mr. H Face palmed, and looked at the scene, half amused, half exasperated.

Neku adjusted the shower head so that it hit the young Composer's face.

...

You know how when Joshua gasps, it sounds really funny? Like a hiccup or something? Well... Whatever. Anyway...

A drowned gasp, then wet coughing filled the room, and Neku turned off the water.

* * *

**Authors Note: Hey, so I was super surprised when I got reviews and follows, and even a favorite. So special thanks to...**

Amulet Misty: **You're an awesome writer, I've read a bunch of your stories. I'm so glad you liked it. :P And yeah, Josh's head is very fluffy, no doubt. XD **

Rhyme13kh14Xion8: **Thanks for the following (And you favorited it, oh my gosh) my story. I looked at your stories, they're pretty good. :)**

Music of the Shadows: **Thanks for following! Glad you liked my story, you should write more. :) You're a good writer. **

Guest reviewer: **Thanks for taking the time to review! (The rest of you too. :P) Glad you thought it was good. :)**

**And thanks to everyone who read it, whether you like it or not, it's pretty cool that you read it anyway XD**


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